Good days, bad days

When the 5th semester results came, I had three supples. That practically ruined my hopes of getting placed while in college. Getting placed was obviously the only reason why I studied something to get in to this motherfucking college. So, well...things weren't good.

Then I took those exams again, all except one. 'Coz I had 40 in that one and needed only 4 more marks to clear it, which I thought I'd get easily on reevaluation. Anyways, I sent all the three for reevaluation and took the two exams. I did fairly well in both and am pretty sure I'll pass in both. And I thought, my luck was turning around. But see, somehow I still managed to screw up. On second thoughts, I didn't screw up. But who do I blame? Fate is something I've managed not to believe in all my life, yet. I'm just thinking. Maybe "fate" is something I could use to my advantage. I blame Fate :-)

Today, the reevaluated marks of two of the three came. The one that I didn't hope to pass in, I passed. And the one that I didn't write this time, the one I hoped I'd easily clear on reevaluation, I didn't.

Although, I've realized on several prior occasions that life can be bloody funny; this feels new.

I'm ACTUALLY facing a situation that never figured even in the worse case scenario. I'm facing getting passed out from this college where every idiot gets placed into some company. I'm actually finding myself amongst the shittiest one or two percent of the total bunch of engineers in my batch.

No offense, but I actually know people who aren't a quarter as good as I am, already placed with some of the best companies on the globe. And I'm left with nothing but a career record of supples. Just them.

In spite of being one of the most humongous failures in the history of mankind, I'm still not scorned at by my parents. They are extremely supportive and I owe a bloody lot to them. My father told me that I could always fly to Dubai and become something. Or I could try my luck at all those walk-in interviews they've these days. That is, if I don't crack CAT this time.

Keeping aside all my negative mindsets, I still can't see a glimmer of hope. And if its the tunnel metaphor you are more used to, I don't see the light. In fact I think, I got myself in to the wrong tunnel. This one doesn't look like it leads to light.