Intercourse Brochure

And then, I threw all the doubts in to the bin and clicked on an "ok" somewhere.

Little has changed. Not that anything more should have.

I deleted a few files, my archive and some more files. What it did is, erase every little record I had to reminisce about the only episode in my recent past I genuinely love. It is nauseatingly disgusting to confess that even that was actually about a girl I liked. But, well, truths aren't all that handsome anyway. That's about it.

Yesterday, I went to a Nokia Care Center to get my fucked up fone unfucked. That is a new way of saying it. I'd like to point out at this juncture that "fuck" is in fact the most versatile of all words. I'd like to believe that if "fuck" had a birth star it'd have been a Gemini. Of course I'm one. Which is why I guess "fuck" figures in my life in every form other than the original proper "fuck" form. Never mind, I'll have my way eventually. I'll probably fuck a million people(read: Babes) in the near future. Oh bloody yeah!

Okay I lost the point amongst all the 'fuck' theory. The thing is, the guy behind the counter asked me my name and I couldn't remember mine for like thirty odd seconds. I was in fact cranking up my brain to remember that word so less used. After half a minute of serious thinking I gave him mine,

"Sharan"

And that feeling of being a stranger to yourself came on me. And it is not cool to have that, trust me on this. I actually felt I haven't heard that name much. I actually, was thinking "What the fuck? who sharan?"

I'm always worried. It comes from my nagging mind's need to be not-ordinary everywhere, all the time. I thought mine was a singular problem. "American Beauty" put things in a new perspective. It showed a girl who had the same issue. She believed "the worst thing is to be ordinary"; I can swear the scriptwriter went right in to my mind when I was sleeping, to come up with that line. Screw the asshole. No wait, Screw the libido out of him!

I've more reasons than you'd know to think the way I do.

I've not written a funny post in ages. I'm starting to think I've lost the idiot inside me. Which is good. But is kinda bad too. 'Coz when I'm not an idiot, I'm an absolute genius. But when I'm not an idiot, I'm kinda boring. All geniuses are boring anyway.

I think I wanna finish off saying, I like hot girls. I some times don't ogle at them. But most of the times I see one, I do. I think that instinct has taken birth from not fulfilling my basic need. Which is not food, not shelter and definitely not sleep or water. I'd be extremely gratified if some really hot chic who reads this comes up and gives me a chance to screw her:-)

Rules:
1)I'm not gay, so guys can all wank off. The pleasure, of course, shall be all yours.

2)Money, contrary to what most people would say at this point in their lives, definitely is a problem; So girls seeking monetary benefit shall not be entertained.

3)The choice of Modus Operandi solely rests with me and is subject to change during the course without prior notice.

4)In case of any emergency resulting from the probable malfunction of contraceptives, I shall not be held responsible. In simple words, fuck at your own risk.

5) There shall not be any post-intercourse communication between the client and I, unless in the extremely unlikely situation of the client deserving a second session.

6) The client shall not bring any auxiliary equipments; Request for threesome has to be submitted 3 days prior.

7) Refreshments shall be provided every half hour. The minimum time for the session shall be two hours; during which if the client terminates the contract, she shall be liable to a penalty included re-session of three hours without refreshment breaks.

8) Inter-course without contraceptives shall be allowed only on submitting the result of the Elisa test taken within the last two weeks.


9) Last but not the least, I'm pleased to help you regain the reins over the pleasures in your life.